Samba

Well, as the semester draws to a close, ballroom gets more and more hectic. Just last thursday, my team learned one whole new routine. It is (any guesses?) a samba routine. So last friday, and today, we went over the technique for samba. Needless to say, it is a very difficult dance, technique wise. There is a lot more to it then the rumba and cha cha. It is, quite literally, kicking my butt. I am going to be practicing the technique for this thing for a long time. The only problem is, there's just a little less then two weeks before the concert. I was able to borrow a practice cd from the EB office, that has just samba music, and hopefully I'll be able to pick up on the technique enough to practice it correctly when no one else is around.

Other then that, I just have to keep my head above water for my other classes. I have two poems due tomorrow, and a research paper that I have to start and finish by next week. And considering that next week is concert week, next week is going to be Hell (so to speak). But after that it should be all smooth sailing from then on.

Guilt Factor

Ok, I'm a bit angry. One of my friends is trying to guilt trip me into doing things. I hate that so much. I have had my fair share of experiences with unnecessary guilt. And I have to say that it pisses me off when people try to make me feel guilty. Before, I had experiences where I was feeling so guilty over nothing, that I blamed myself for things that weren't even in my control. Needless to say, guilt does not really work on me anymore, unless I make myself feel guitly. I find it extremely immature and childish to try to guilt trip someone into feeling a certain way. So if anyone want's to try to see my wrath turned on them, that's the fastest road to it.

Anyways, now I've got to go get an essay written, and find some material for a presentation I'm doing on Thursday.

"Sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white, sometimes she's wrong, sometimes I'm right..."

So, I realize that the last post had nothing to do with anything. Here's why. I had a math 1050 test on Friday, and I'm sure I got one of the problems wrong, so I've been thinking about it all weekend, and that's kinda what happens when I think about math too long. Now for the real update about how things are going.

I'm quite amused with my own stupidity. I'm sure everyone has gone through an experience, where they are ignoring the obvious (whether on purpose or not), and then their friend comes up and shows it to them. I don't know about anyone else, but that makes me feel really stupid. Something similar to that has happened to me lately, and I'm feeling really stupid at my lack of noticing the obvious. What really drives it home was I noticed it at first, and then I chose to ignore it, and it almost seemed to disappear. It was a little bit of wishful thinking mixed with a friend that was over-exaggerating things that were misinterpreted. I guess I wanted it to be true, and at first I knew it wasn't, and then I thought it was. And now, I just laugh at myself because of it.

I did go on a date last Friday. It was a whole lot of fun. I went with my friend Maddy, and my roommates. We wanted to have a bonfire/music/dance party, and we wanted to make it into a date, so we did. Three of my roommates went, with their dates, and my roommate's sister, and her date. It was a lot of fun, and I definitely enjoyed spending time with Maddy, and getting to know her better.

I do have to say, it seems a lot easier for me to get dates this year than ever before. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because I am more outgoing, so I find it easier to ask girls on dates. Maybe there's another reason. I'm not sure.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings about that. I am going to be performing with the rest of the ballroom dance company on Tuesday and Thursday of this week. It's going to be a lot of fun. If I don't count the parade (which I don't), then this will be our first performance. We went over our routine in the ballroom on Thursday, and it went really well. I can already tell it's going to be an awesome year.

That's about all I can think of right now that is going on. I'm sure I'll think of more later, but until then I'm just going to take it easy, and enjoy the weekend while it lasts. (I have a pretty big paper to finish tomorrow, but until then...)

Graphs of rational functions

I am a nerd, and if anything, this post will only go to support that fact, and show people how much of a nerd I really am. In my math class, we were talking about common functions and their graphs. One of them is a rational function, which has some sort of polynomial, divided by some sort of polynomial. The thing that makes a rational function fun (for me) is the fact that it has asymptotes, or certain parts of the graphs that it will never touch, but approaches. Take for example, if you had a rational function with x² - 1 as the denominator, there would be vertical asymptotes at x = 1, and x = -1. So as the function approaches 1, or -1, the graph of the rational function would approach the line x = 1, and x = -1, but never touch or cross it. There are also horizontal asymptotes and oblique asymptotes, depending on what degree the numerator is in relation to the denominator. Sometimes, and I'm not exactly sure of the rules on this, the function can cross the oblique or horizontal asymptote. You simply put the asymptote equal to the function, and solve for x, and if you come up with a number, it crosses that asymptote at that value of x.

Up until a few days ago, I thought that was it. But that's not all. When I was looking for material to study for my math test online (since I had forgotten my book), I found there are other asymptotes that are not linear. They exist for functions where the denominator is 2 or more degrees less then the numerator. This is found with long division of the rational function (maybe more on this later). But a function will approach these asymptotes that are non-linear as well, and sometimes cross them. Here is an example of a function with a non-linear asymptote that I have graphed using graphing software on the computer.

The non-linear asymptote in this case is the function y = x² + 4x + 9. And when you set this function equal to the rational function, the solution is x = -3/4, and you can see that the function crosses this asymptote at x = -3/4. (if you want a closer look at the graph, click on the picture, and it should open up a full size of it on another page). Anyways, I just found this interesting, that asymptotes didn't necessarily have to be linear.

Being Sick is Distracting

I caught a cold last week, on Thursday. I didn't really go anywhere or do anything since that day, and so right now I'm feeling rested. More rested than I have felt in a while anyways. I'm still a little sick, but I think the worse part of it is over now. I feel like there are a million things I should be doing, I just can't find the motivation to do them.

I'm upset right now, over something that I won't go into yet. Let's just say I've almost reached my breaking point, and there's not a whole lot more I'll be able to take before something in my mind snaps. More on this later, depending on which turn the situation takes.

I was able to make it to salsa on Thursday, before I had to shut down for the weekend. It was a blast. So very much fun. I'd like to apologize now to all of my friends who had to deal with me and my asking them constantly if they would be going. I just have a whole lot of fun with salsa, or any kind of ballroom dance actually, that i just don't want anyone to miss out. And I realize (at least consciously) that not everyone enjoys it. Anyways, it's going to be a whole lot of fun, so if you're in town and have time, then come.

I think that about sums it up for now. I'll post more when my mind is completely clear from the cold I caught.

As you may note, I re-added the links to my website, you will see them on the right side of the page, under the heading "My Website"... I am still trying to re-vamp it though, so it's not exactly up to parr for three of the six pages I have links to. In fact, one I haven't designed yet. Two of them are not using CSS, and have a few less links on their pages then they should have. But all in all, I think it works out all right.

Just for a note, for those of you who do not know, I have some things to say about comments. I am modderating my comments for a reason. It's not that I don't appreciate comments, I do. It lets me know that people are actually reading, and may care about me, or at the very least may find amusement in my mistakes of my personal life--and all these things are great. However, if a comment is more conversational, or too personal, I will not post it. I try to only post comments that deal with the blog, and other general questions or comments that are ambiguous or could relate to any random blog will not be posted. Just for future references. I recieved two comments that will not be posted. You know who you are (I apalogize, it's just it doesn't really relate to the blog posting or is way too unnecessary of a comment, that I will not post it. It's just not public information.)

That being said, I will post any comments that are intelligent comments/discussions on what I say, even if I don't agree with the comment.

Also, I have taken a few extra measures to try to get into shape. I ran a mile this morning after work. I thought I was out of shape, but I didn't know it was this bad. Anyways, after I ran I practiced the little Tai Chi that I know (and I'm learning--even though I am learning a little slower than I'd like), and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I think that will become my new morning routine, to go run (at least a mile) and practice Tai Chi everymorning after work.

Average Everyday Superhero

So, it's late on a saterday afternoon, such that I'm almost feeling like it's sunday, or rather it would be considered sunday if I were of the same mind-set that the next day begins at midnight. All of this aside, it's raining. I love rain. Rain almost seems to give me power (as it were). Sounds a little wierd, true, but I feel I have more energy when it rains. So I'll probably end up staying up really late tonight, and hate myself tomorrow for doing so. But at the moment, I just can't seem to care that much.

I also found a website, thanks to Shannon, that let's me create my very own superhero... and I did, so I will post the picture, though I haven't really came up with a good name for him yet, though I am open to suggestions.

Ironically Ironic

Sometimes I just have to laugh at what life throws my way. In these short few months back in cedar, things have kicked into high gear, and I am left in many an awkward situation. Already the somewhat more sophisticated (though hardly recommendable) college relationship dramas have began. I have watched several friends go through such experiences, and experienced some of this myself. A few years ago, I would have looked at these situations and would have become stressed beyond belief. But now I find myself (more often then not) laughing, because I've been there before, and I've seen others go through those same things. And the more I think about the irony and misplaced emotional importance of such situations, I can't help but be more than slightly amused. And I'm not just talking about my situations, my experiences. I've come to realize these experiences aren't unique to just one person. I am not the only one who has experienced these things. And those of you who are reading this and saying "I haven't" don't worry... you will.

I guess we (humans I mean) just have a tendency to attach importance to things that really won't matter in a couple of weeks from now (let alone a decade). And in a couple of centuries, what will be important is that we lived. And hopefully we can say that we lived a full life, taking full advantage of what every day has to offer us. (This is, just for clarification, something that I really need to work on). This has also been brought to sharp relief in my mind by the high school students who are here at SUU campus, for the annual Shakespearean festival. Looking at a high school student (any at random), and they are worried about "what does my hair look like," or "what does she/he think of me," and that all won't really matter in the end.

As an update, I turned in the form for late hour submissions (I took a little time for the administration to cool down, in the hope that they will overlook my blunder, saving us both time and the effort it will take for arguing amongst each other). The form really isn't due in until the submission time for the next paycheck, so I still have about a week and a half really. Anyhow, I haven't heard anything about that yet, so I'm hoping that things will go smoothly without incident. I will keep you updated.

I found out today that ballroom (and this is kind of ironic that I didn't really hear about it), will be having free Salsa Dance lessons starting this thursday, every tuesday and thursday from 8 to 9 pm for about 2 and a half weeks! This makes me really excited, since Salsa (though it isn't one of my favorite dances), is definately up there. I'm going to see if I can convince people to come with me, though even if no one else does, you can bet I will be there for all of it.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a fair weekend so far. We'll see what the rest of it brings. But I'm feeling good about things, though this might be due to the fact that I was able to take time to meditate, and practice a little Tai Chi not more than two days ago. Anyhow, that's all that's new.

Reasonable

I like to consider myself a reasonable person. I do a really good job at keeping my anger in check, and usually am able to diffuse my temper before I make any rash decisions. This is a considerable feat considering the lack of sleep I have been having lately.

I am generally able to remember everything that I need to do--homework wise, and work wise--at least when I am not tired. Lately I've been really tired. I work from 6 am to 8 am (cleaning bathrooms if the truth be told), and then am constantly on the go until usually between 10pm and 12 am, only to go to bed and be up at 6 to do it all over again. Because of my homework load, I have been getting to bed a little later than I would have liked. And being tired, this makes me a little more forgetful than I would like. So two days ago, I forgot that I was to submit my hours for my job online.

Now today, since I forgot to mention anything to my supervisor yesterday, I picked up a late hour submission form. And to my dismay, my supervisor informs me that (and I'm not sure exactly who) someone in administration was not going to be accepting any late hour submission forms. What this means is there is a possibility that I will not get paid for 23 hours of work. I find this very ironic, since I am on work study, and that those hours I am cleaning bathrooms is not because I enjoy it, but because the government pays part of my paycheck and SUU only pays a small portion of it (since I am not elligable to receive any grants, but am left to pay for school out of my own pocket because the government believes that I cannot provide for myself until I am 24 and that my parents are expected to pay for half my schooling until that time).

For clarification, I do not do this job for fun. It is, by no means, fun. It is a useful job since it is through the school, and it is a good job because of my coworkers and supervisor. But it is by no means fun. The fact that since it is workstudy, if I do not get paid for those 23 hours of work that I put into the job you can bet I will be writing letters not only to the school but to the newspapers in and around town, not only the school's paper, but the papers for Cedar City. It may very well be my last day of work soon if I don't get paid for my time. It pisses me off that the administration thinks that they can cheat me out of my money. It may be true that I should be more attentive to submitting my hours on time. I can understand their frustration at having to deal with the extra paperwork. However, wouldn't it be to their advantage to take a look at how many people are forgetting to submit thier hours and give us an extra day or two? Do they think that we are doing this on purpose?

Anyways, that's all that I really wanted to say at this point.

Wow

So today I dropped a class. Unfortunately, I liked all my classes this semester, but I had no time to do anything, because I'd signed up for one too many classes. My professor for that class was very cool about it though, after I'd explained everything, so it's all good.

Dancing is just about killing me so far. We performed at the homecoming parade. If felt like we were running the whole way and then some. Let me explain. So we were on foot, and we would stop and perform the routine (Lindy-hop, not a slow dance), and then when we were finished we would literally run to catch up with the rest of the parade. And as soon as we had caught up, we would start over again. I'm not quite sure, but someone told me we had performed the routine fifteen times. It was fun (and I sometimes use that term very loosely for those of you who know me well). I also have to practice the techniques for the cha cha for our technique class... and I'm not doing as well as I would like in that (because up 'till now, I didn't have any time to practice).


There's not too much more going on here, just trying to not wear myself out, and keep up with everything (or it might be closer to say, keep my head above water).

Some Days Just Are

So, not too much has happened since my last post. I'm just trying to live life, and figure things out, and have as much fun as I can while I'm living. Well, sometimes it's just hard to have fun, but right now that doesn't seem to be the case. As I've said before, I love Cedar City, and College life. I love everything (well, almost) about my life right now.

In CSIS 1000 (Intro to computer science--the worst class in the world) today we began the section on Microsoft's Excel program. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an expert at it, but I am familiar enough with it to know what most of the basics are. And the things that I can't figure out are in the "text book" we have for the class (Note: I use the phrase "text book" here loosely). Well, our professor had some things to take care of, so she left early, and told us to work on assignment 9I. So I'm working on this assignment, and I'm doing rather well (all things considered), and there's part of the book that doesn't really make sense, since we haven't covered it. Turns out, the TA didn't know the answer (she probably took this class a few years ago, possibly even before the newer version of Microsoft office), so I found out how to do it (in the book), and was able to help the TA. I'm blogging that because how often does anyone get to say that? Yeah, today in class I helped the TA.

I was able to write a sonnet (finally), it only took me about two and a half hours. Not too much fun, but it worked out all right, which is good since I have to turn that in today. I'm not exactly sure what else we will be doing in that class, but I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out. Right now I'm just trying to stop the inevitable, or in other words, I'm putting off my homework. I have to pick an essay out of one of my text-books, and write a reader's response to it. I have to interview 3 people, and write some things with that. I have to do about four math assignments. But I don't really have the motivation to get all those things started yet, so I'm not going to do it yet.

I am excited about tonight, however. Tonight is the second practice for the Intermediate Ballroom Dance Team, and I'm loving it so far. Things are going rather well, and I'm excited to get our routine down, though I suppose I should have practiced a bit more than I did for it... well, there's plenty of time for that. And this weekend is the retreat, which is going to be so much fun, I can hardly begin to hide my excitement.

All in all, life has just been really good today.

And Life Goes On, and Keeps Going and Going and Going

So I'm sitting here, with writer's block, trying to pound out a sonnet, when it occurs to me I haven't updated my blog recently. Life has been busy lately, but I'll try to simplify things a bit.

Try-outs for Ballroom Dance were last Thursday, and they were a lot of fun. I did have to help the girls audition though, so my feet hurt a lot when I got home (especially since I haven't quite broken in my Latin shoes yet). I found out on Friday that I made the Intermediate Ballroom Dance Team!!! I am very excited. We had our first practice as a team yesterday, and that went really well. Also, we are going to be performing quite a bit it looks like, and we are going to be going on tour to California this next spring semester. We are also going to be practicing about 7 hours each week as a team (and then some, to make sure we have the routine down).

Not a whole lot is going on besides classes, I am in intermediate poetry writing, and that class is almost kicking my butt. Or, at least, it is now. Sonnets are very difficult to write, or they are for me anyways. I'm sure I'll get it soon, either that or I won't.

Anyways, that's about all that has been on my mind lately, just trying to get into school mode, and trying to balance personal life with work and homework. It's quite the juggling act.

Back to Basics

Well, I'm back at SUU in Cedar City now, and boy am I loving it!!! One of the most exciting things (well, maybe not the most exciting thing, but it definitely makes the top ten list) is that Smash Mouth is coming in concert to SUU!!! How exciting is that?! And to make things better, I bought a ticket to the concert for $20, and I'm in the seventh row from the stage. Awesome!

Classes are going well beyond that, I have three English classes (crazy I know), and none of them are in the english building. One is in the General Classroom building, one in the Business building, and one in the Science building. It's not too bad however. One of them is Literature in Culture (and that class is fairly easy so far, just going to have to do a lot of service projects). One is ENGL 2010 which is required from everyone, but I like the professor for that, so it's not as bad as I had expected. And the third is Intermediate Poetry, which I am loving so far. We are working on the Haiku, which is more difficult than I expected, but it's still a really fun class.

Last semester I made the ballroom dance team. Apparently there was a technique class which I could have (actually should have) taken, but I didn't even know about it until halfway through the semester. So this semester I signed up for it, before I even came back to Cedar. I went to class for the registered time and found out the class wasn't going to start until after team try-outs, because that is what it was designed for in the first place. So instead of dancing I got a chance to talk with Mark (who is the Ballroom director, in charge of the whole program), and it sounds like I have a spot on--at least--beginning team for this semester, which I am very glad about. I still have to try-out, but things are looking good. Not only that, but I met the new assistant dance director (the previous one got married and moved away). Her name is Debrah (or something like that), and she seems to be a very awesome person, so I'm excited about that this semester. Try-outs are Thursday, so I should break out the dance shoes, and start practicing.

I have also had a chance to at least talk with some of my friends, and catch up with the rest. They all seem to be doing well for the most part, and I have a lot of different people to try to catch before the semester goes for too long.

All in all, it's been a very first week. I should probably go to the park and do some Chi exercises, since it helps to relieve stress, and I'm going to have to get into the habit of stress reduction.

And Summer Goes On

Wow, I am so busy. And yet, I am dying of boredom. I guess I have a lot of stuff I can do, just most of it is just busy work to try to get me through these next few months before school starts again.

Just finished with the fourth of July, that was a fun day. I got to hang out with my cousins, and had a barbecue... the fireworks weren't that great, but it was fun anyways. I also had a root-beer float, hmm hm.

I did a little bit more with my website this past weekend, I fixed my homepage (it doens't look like a fifth grader did it anymore, yay!), and I added a few little things... added a stylesheet or two, and bam! it's almost a differant website. I was also talked into adding a page for fractals, and I added links for that, but haven't been able to build one yet. All I have left to do is to fix my SUU, and Cedar City pages and add a fractals page, and my website will be completly remodelled. Yay!

Dance practice has just about killed me, I'm so sore, and I haven't even been practicing as much as I would have liked. Well, one of these days I'll be in shape.

That's all that I can think of that has happened in the past little while, now i'm going to go get some sleep.

To Be Or Not To Be

Wow, it's been a while since I've been on here... A lot has happenend, and at the same time, not too much. I've just been hanging out in Vernal, not too much fun. Not as bad as I had expected, but still not so much fun. For the most part I'm just really bored. I've not as many friends here as I have in Cedar, and--contrary to what I had been told--there are no ballroom dance lessons here, which means no practice. Well, I could practice but only if I could find a dance partner. Hm... something I might have to look into.

I have found a lot of things here that I had put away into storage. One of them is my color gameboy, yep that's right, and in working condition as well. Unfortunatly I have sold all my games that work for it because I had thought I had gotten rid of it. I also found my pocket watch (needs batteries, but still...), and a binder that I had had in high school with some interesting ideas for web-design I used in my "web-design" class. To be honest, it was pretty much an advanced computer class and I had the opportunity to study what I wanted, which was web-design, so I had to find the curriculum myself. It wasn't very easy, but I think it paid off in the end. Everything I've done with my website I had to teach myself (except for the <html> tag and a few other simple tags). Anyways, I dug it out and did some editing on my website (the writing pages), and later I will be working on the rest of it (when I get motivated and a minute to work on it). What was in the binder was information on cascading style sheets, from "yourhtmlsource.com" which is a very good website I might add. Also, for anyone interested, I found that using PSPad editor for a html environment works rather well, along with Topstyle Lite, which is an environment designed specifically for CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), both are freeware.

I'm thinking this week I'm going to try to have a ballroom dance thing happen at the park, this thursday to be exact. The only problem is I don't know who is in town and who would be interested in ballroom dancing, so thus is the problem. At the park, the pavillions are designed wiht lights and outlets--that work if you know what you're doing--and i have some ballroom dance music, and a way to play it loud enough for the pavillion. I just lack people.

I now have a job at UELS, i've been working there--again--now for about two weeks. It's in the office, so it's not too bad. Monday through Friday, eight to five. Scanning files is actually what I'm doing. It gives me a lot of time to think... perhaps a little too much time some days. Anyways, that's mostly what has been going on in my life. Now I've got to go and fill out the FAFSA, yuck.

Coming Full Circle

I've thought about life in this way before, how time seems to be one large circle that I just travel in, going around and around, the same things happening again and again. Just recently I've switched rooms in my apartment (again), and I've realized that I'm sleeping in the same room, on the same bed even, that I was in when I first came to Cedar. The very same one. I'm also re-experiencing the joys and sorrows I've had when I first moved here, though the joys are greater and the sorrows are less.

I've pondered on time and life, and thinking about it, I don't think Time is circular at all... but in the form of a sine wave. (Yes, I had to sneak math in here somehow). Anyways, Time seems to be taking the same turns, but that's because it keeps moving on and on, in the likeness of a circle, but not a circle.

Anyhow, although I've figured some things out, some things are not very easy. I'm coming to grips with life as I see it, and that is not very easy. I've also have some complex situations that I am now faced with, including trying to figure out Linux, and some other things which are pressing hard on my mind. Maybe someday I will be able to figure this out, but it won't be anytime soon.

Well, there's no time for stressing or thinking now, I have some papers to write, so I'll try to figure it out by and by.

Echoes of the Past, Reflections of the Future

Well, today has been allright, I'm now only about 100 pages behind in my Literature class, and I've a million things to do, but I'm allright. You know, I've noticed some things about how life goes, and I think I'm going to share a little of my personal experience here. Why? I don't know, just because I think perhaps someone would be able to learn from my mistakes.

I've had a lot of time to do some personal reflections on my past. How life was in High School, and before I moved to Cedar City. I've had a whole lot of things to think about from then, and most of the time, I didn't want to. But the more I think about it, the easier it is to let it go, and to realize what was happening back then.

I warn anyone reading this that this is my story, and that it is complete from my perspective. That anyone who loves Vernal and/or High School had better stop reading this entry right now, because I'm not holding back my feelings, and it will be easy to become offended if you do not stop reading right now.

Vernal is a place in my mind that will always be one of the worst places in the world. I hate it, and it hates me. From High School--and even before--I was a prisoner there. High school for me was full of many people, most of them fake, just trying to be the most popular or the prettiest or the coolest. No one understood what it meant to live--myself included. I fell prey to the constant suggestion of that accursed place that I was worth nothing, that life was meaningless for me. And what did it accomplish? At that time I had a deathwish, because I was not strong enough to realize that the constant suggestions and assault of words were of ideals that are nothing but the constant struggle and want of power over others. And no one was there to pull me out, at least not for a long time, not until it was almost too late.

Coming to Cedar I was running form the past. It seems to be a fact of life that you cannot run from your problems, and expect them to go away. They always come back with a vengance. And so it was for me. The echoes of the past I thought I had escaped threatened my life a second time. Well, I was smarter then, and more experianced, and I realized--though unable to cast off those weighted chains of thought--that they were not right, it was not how the world worked, there was something about those accusations of worthlessness that didn't ring true. So I sought help, and found my way back. I still struggle with the echoes of the past, they still haunt me at times and threaten my peace, but they aren't nearly as strong or influential as they once were.

I now have the life I've always wanted, and I am happy and satisfied with life for the most part. I find that the feelings of freedom I fealt before the past caught me the second time, are the very feelings I have now, but nearing ten fold the potency. To me, Vernal is Hell, and Cedar City is salvation. I have found that you choose your future, and I have chosen mine.

This experience for me has had several effects. Cedar City has become my home, though I choose my words carefully in mixed company. (I've offended several people already, without even trying). I have also grown a hatred for Vernal that I don't think will ever go away. There is also an effect form this experience that I'm not sure what to do with. Every once in a while, especially on sites such as facebook or myspace where the faces of the past confront me, I'll find a torrent and whirlwind of emotions battling for attention in my head. Needless to say the echoes of the past return at full effect (or what is now full effect of those feelings that are still left), and I found myself staring at those pictures with a kind of hatred. Not to say that I hate those people, but I think that my hatred of Vernal has began to leak into everything in my mind associated with Vernal. I do not hate them--most of them--but I find it diffucult to seperate my feelings of Vernal from them. I apalogize to any of those from Vernal who are reading this. It is something I may struggle with for the rest of my life. I do not mean it personally. Time heals all wounds, so it has been said. I'm not sure I believe this statement is completely correct, but it does have some merrit. With time these feelings of hatred may lesten, and perhaps eventually I will only think of the city of Vernal alone with those feelings and not the collective of everything associated with it. But for now the echoes of the past cause me to look at some with feelings of utter contempt. We shall se how this summer goes, since I will be returning to that accursed place. Perhaps that will help me through these feelings and allow me to finally lay at rest the past, and leave nothing but hope of the brightest future.

What the heck is going on anyways?

Well, today was a fairly good day. Well, sort of. Life sometimes comes at you fast, and oh man, has life came at me fast! I've been trying to catch up in all my classes (almost have now, except for literature, i feel very very behind in that). Now all I have to do is just wait until next week comes so I can see what else I have to do in my classes. I'm also behind in meditation. We are studying Tai Chi now, and I haven't been able to practice, because I was sick all last week from sunday through sunday. I'm still sick, I feel 10x better than I did, but I'm still sick. So I haven't been able to practice that either. I'm also hoping that in ballroom dance we get things started, so I can start practicing with my partner. We are doing the Cha Cha now, and that's one of my favorite dances, I just realized I'm going to be behind in that too, because they will be taking things from the routine from the technique class--which I'm not in because no one told me I needed it.... I would have taken it too, but guess what, it's too late now.

Anyways, besides all of this, I'm still having a really great day. It's kinda wierd. I'm going to be getting a new job soon (hopefully if things go allright), and I'm also getting quite a bit of taxes back as well (hopefully that will come in soon enough). I think that's about everything that I want to say right now, so I'll just leave it at that.

Star Wars, anyone?

Well, today has definitely been interesting. We had a performance in ballroom dance. It didn't go quite as well as I would have liked, but it was fun. I just hope that that will come together better.

Moving on, it is getting close to spring (yeah!!!), and that means spring break. I am going to be watching star wars and lord of the rings and a whole bunch of other movies... but for right now, I have checked out Star Wars from the library (episodes 4-6 anyways), and I plan on watching them soon, I love star wars! And I'm hoping that I can watch them with my friend Beth, she hasn't seen them yet.

Also, the fiction section of creative writing is almost done, so I might be posting a short story onto my website soon. I do plan on writing more than one, though I might have to wait until summer before I start doing that.

One of my friends has a game from (well, I actually can't remember where it is from) called Generals... It is a type of strategy game, I think it is very fun, and I'm thinking I might design my own board for it, so that I might play it any time I want to.

Well, that's everything I have to say about anything for right now, so here's hoping that I can live through my presentation tomorrow.

"And The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round"

Yeah, so I found out that school doesn't stop, nor does life, even when you do get sick... Well, acutally I already knew that, but I just like to mention it over and over and over again. I caught something nasty (think it might have been the flu) on sunday, and it took me out until last night. And I just happened to have to go to practice last night (for ballroom dance, not too much fun), but it's a good thing I did go, because we are performing on Monday and there were quite a few changes in the routine/dance we are doing.

Besides that, life is just as crazy as ever, just trying to balance work and school and my free time. You would think I would have that down by now, but nope, I don't. Anyhow, I've been doing a lot with creative writing, which is awesome, and I'm now learning Tai Chi (Oh Yeah!!!), and hopefully by next year I will be in great shape. I am planning on doing more with poetry, and posting that onto my website, just haven't gotten that far yet, I still have about a hundred pages to read in about three--maybe four--books for a few differant classes.

But besides life being busy, I'm feeling a lot better now as compared with mondy--monday I could barely stand--and I'm just glad this sickness, this nasty bug that I caught, is almost gone, and hopefully gone for a long time.

Does Life Slow Down, or Just Always Speed Up?

Well, this week has been fairly busy, and things are going accordingly, luckily this semester, it is a little easier to keep my head above water, so i'm just going to keep on swimming. Just as a note, I'm going to be changing my e-mail address that I use most often, and changing as well the location of the other pages of my website, but I will change the links here as well, so nothing to worry about. Anyhow, my new e-mail is danembartlett@yahoo.com. And my new website will be: http://www.geocities.com/danembartlett

I think that's about everything for now, so that's just about it.

Who Would Have Thought?

Well, things are going very well right now. I tried out for the ballroom dance team, and I made it! I am now on the beginning ballroom dance team! It is so much fun, it's awesome, but it is going to be a lot of work (I am having fun with it though, it is great). This weekend I am going to a "mountain retreat" up the canyon with the team (all 60 of us), and that is going to be so much fun, I am so excited, but there is a lot I have to get done before them. Just to clear things up a bit, there are three teams total, the beginning (that's me!), intermidiate, and Touring (advanced) teams, with 10 couples in each, or at least it is easier to say couples, it's not really, I don't even have a partner (at least not yet), and it just seems like I'm going to be dancing with everyone, no complaints here though.

Anyways, moving on, my classes are going well, although I feel a little overwhelmed at times, and life is going well, except for the stress level that I have, but that's nothing that can't be fixed, and I am taking a meditation class, so that should help out a lot. I am also thinking about posting my poems on my website, so I will put a link on there as soon as they are done (writing poetry for my writing class, but it is a lot of fun). I am also going to be adding some more pictures, but that is going to have to wait for a little bit, until I have time to go through my pictures, choose the ones I want, and then to actually edit them so they are websafe, and then put them on my jump drive and then post them on the internet (complicated I know, but that's the process). For right now, that's about everything that I can think of that is note-worthy, and life is still going great.

Happy New Years

Well, it is now the new year (almost a couple of weeks into it). And things are going great! Just started a new semester here at SUU, and for anyone who didn't see, I've added a new page to my website with pictures from on campus. Yes, I know there aren't a lot of pictures. Yes, I am planning on adding some more. I happen to have about 300 pictures on my computer right now. However, I do not have internet access, so I have to choose and edit the pictures before I even come to the computer lab if I hope to add more, and I don't even think to do that most of the time. Anyways, backtracking a little bit, this new semester is going to be a lot of fun, I am in a ballroom dance class (again, I just can't get enough), and while I am on the subject I am thinking about trying out for the team on the 17th. Also, I am taking a few English classes, one is on literature (we are studying the Gothic genre which means Dracula, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and a few of Edgar Allen Poe's poems. I am also in creative writing (which should be fun, maybe I'll even post some of my work here). I am also thinking about taking a Meditation class through the Karate club here on campus, I only have to come up with $50 by mid-term, and a yoga mat (not sure why, but that is the way it is).

I did have a weird dream last night, I was dreaming about a situation like the movie "I am Legend," it was very interesting. Anyhow, I have some homework I've got to finish, so I'll just put in a little bit more later.