Guilt Factor

Ok, I'm a bit angry. One of my friends is trying to guilt trip me into doing things. I hate that so much. I have had my fair share of experiences with unnecessary guilt. And I have to say that it pisses me off when people try to make me feel guilty. Before, I had experiences where I was feeling so guilty over nothing, that I blamed myself for things that weren't even in my control. Needless to say, guilt does not really work on me anymore, unless I make myself feel guitly. I find it extremely immature and childish to try to guilt trip someone into feeling a certain way. So if anyone want's to try to see my wrath turned on them, that's the fastest road to it.

Anyways, now I've got to go get an essay written, and find some material for a presentation I'm doing on Thursday.

"Sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white, sometimes she's wrong, sometimes I'm right..."

So, I realize that the last post had nothing to do with anything. Here's why. I had a math 1050 test on Friday, and I'm sure I got one of the problems wrong, so I've been thinking about it all weekend, and that's kinda what happens when I think about math too long. Now for the real update about how things are going.

I'm quite amused with my own stupidity. I'm sure everyone has gone through an experience, where they are ignoring the obvious (whether on purpose or not), and then their friend comes up and shows it to them. I don't know about anyone else, but that makes me feel really stupid. Something similar to that has happened to me lately, and I'm feeling really stupid at my lack of noticing the obvious. What really drives it home was I noticed it at first, and then I chose to ignore it, and it almost seemed to disappear. It was a little bit of wishful thinking mixed with a friend that was over-exaggerating things that were misinterpreted. I guess I wanted it to be true, and at first I knew it wasn't, and then I thought it was. And now, I just laugh at myself because of it.

I did go on a date last Friday. It was a whole lot of fun. I went with my friend Maddy, and my roommates. We wanted to have a bonfire/music/dance party, and we wanted to make it into a date, so we did. Three of my roommates went, with their dates, and my roommate's sister, and her date. It was a lot of fun, and I definitely enjoyed spending time with Maddy, and getting to know her better.

I do have to say, it seems a lot easier for me to get dates this year than ever before. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because I am more outgoing, so I find it easier to ask girls on dates. Maybe there's another reason. I'm not sure.

Anyways, enough of my ramblings about that. I am going to be performing with the rest of the ballroom dance company on Tuesday and Thursday of this week. It's going to be a lot of fun. If I don't count the parade (which I don't), then this will be our first performance. We went over our routine in the ballroom on Thursday, and it went really well. I can already tell it's going to be an awesome year.

That's about all I can think of right now that is going on. I'm sure I'll think of more later, but until then I'm just going to take it easy, and enjoy the weekend while it lasts. (I have a pretty big paper to finish tomorrow, but until then...)

Graphs of rational functions

I am a nerd, and if anything, this post will only go to support that fact, and show people how much of a nerd I really am. In my math class, we were talking about common functions and their graphs. One of them is a rational function, which has some sort of polynomial, divided by some sort of polynomial. The thing that makes a rational function fun (for me) is the fact that it has asymptotes, or certain parts of the graphs that it will never touch, but approaches. Take for example, if you had a rational function with x² - 1 as the denominator, there would be vertical asymptotes at x = 1, and x = -1. So as the function approaches 1, or -1, the graph of the rational function would approach the line x = 1, and x = -1, but never touch or cross it. There are also horizontal asymptotes and oblique asymptotes, depending on what degree the numerator is in relation to the denominator. Sometimes, and I'm not exactly sure of the rules on this, the function can cross the oblique or horizontal asymptote. You simply put the asymptote equal to the function, and solve for x, and if you come up with a number, it crosses that asymptote at that value of x.

Up until a few days ago, I thought that was it. But that's not all. When I was looking for material to study for my math test online (since I had forgotten my book), I found there are other asymptotes that are not linear. They exist for functions where the denominator is 2 or more degrees less then the numerator. This is found with long division of the rational function (maybe more on this later). But a function will approach these asymptotes that are non-linear as well, and sometimes cross them. Here is an example of a function with a non-linear asymptote that I have graphed using graphing software on the computer.

The non-linear asymptote in this case is the function y = x² + 4x + 9. And when you set this function equal to the rational function, the solution is x = -3/4, and you can see that the function crosses this asymptote at x = -3/4. (if you want a closer look at the graph, click on the picture, and it should open up a full size of it on another page). Anyways, I just found this interesting, that asymptotes didn't necessarily have to be linear.

Being Sick is Distracting

I caught a cold last week, on Thursday. I didn't really go anywhere or do anything since that day, and so right now I'm feeling rested. More rested than I have felt in a while anyways. I'm still a little sick, but I think the worse part of it is over now. I feel like there are a million things I should be doing, I just can't find the motivation to do them.

I'm upset right now, over something that I won't go into yet. Let's just say I've almost reached my breaking point, and there's not a whole lot more I'll be able to take before something in my mind snaps. More on this later, depending on which turn the situation takes.

I was able to make it to salsa on Thursday, before I had to shut down for the weekend. It was a blast. So very much fun. I'd like to apologize now to all of my friends who had to deal with me and my asking them constantly if they would be going. I just have a whole lot of fun with salsa, or any kind of ballroom dance actually, that i just don't want anyone to miss out. And I realize (at least consciously) that not everyone enjoys it. Anyways, it's going to be a whole lot of fun, so if you're in town and have time, then come.

I think that about sums it up for now. I'll post more when my mind is completely clear from the cold I caught.

As you may note, I re-added the links to my website, you will see them on the right side of the page, under the heading "My Website"... I am still trying to re-vamp it though, so it's not exactly up to parr for three of the six pages I have links to. In fact, one I haven't designed yet. Two of them are not using CSS, and have a few less links on their pages then they should have. But all in all, I think it works out all right.

Just for a note, for those of you who do not know, I have some things to say about comments. I am modderating my comments for a reason. It's not that I don't appreciate comments, I do. It lets me know that people are actually reading, and may care about me, or at the very least may find amusement in my mistakes of my personal life--and all these things are great. However, if a comment is more conversational, or too personal, I will not post it. I try to only post comments that deal with the blog, and other general questions or comments that are ambiguous or could relate to any random blog will not be posted. Just for future references. I recieved two comments that will not be posted. You know who you are (I apalogize, it's just it doesn't really relate to the blog posting or is way too unnecessary of a comment, that I will not post it. It's just not public information.)

That being said, I will post any comments that are intelligent comments/discussions on what I say, even if I don't agree with the comment.

Also, I have taken a few extra measures to try to get into shape. I ran a mile this morning after work. I thought I was out of shape, but I didn't know it was this bad. Anyways, after I ran I practiced the little Tai Chi that I know (and I'm learning--even though I am learning a little slower than I'd like), and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I think that will become my new morning routine, to go run (at least a mile) and practice Tai Chi everymorning after work.

Average Everyday Superhero

So, it's late on a saterday afternoon, such that I'm almost feeling like it's sunday, or rather it would be considered sunday if I were of the same mind-set that the next day begins at midnight. All of this aside, it's raining. I love rain. Rain almost seems to give me power (as it were). Sounds a little wierd, true, but I feel I have more energy when it rains. So I'll probably end up staying up really late tonight, and hate myself tomorrow for doing so. But at the moment, I just can't seem to care that much.

I also found a website, thanks to Shannon, that let's me create my very own superhero... and I did, so I will post the picture, though I haven't really came up with a good name for him yet, though I am open to suggestions.

Ironically Ironic

Sometimes I just have to laugh at what life throws my way. In these short few months back in cedar, things have kicked into high gear, and I am left in many an awkward situation. Already the somewhat more sophisticated (though hardly recommendable) college relationship dramas have began. I have watched several friends go through such experiences, and experienced some of this myself. A few years ago, I would have looked at these situations and would have become stressed beyond belief. But now I find myself (more often then not) laughing, because I've been there before, and I've seen others go through those same things. And the more I think about the irony and misplaced emotional importance of such situations, I can't help but be more than slightly amused. And I'm not just talking about my situations, my experiences. I've come to realize these experiences aren't unique to just one person. I am not the only one who has experienced these things. And those of you who are reading this and saying "I haven't" don't worry... you will.

I guess we (humans I mean) just have a tendency to attach importance to things that really won't matter in a couple of weeks from now (let alone a decade). And in a couple of centuries, what will be important is that we lived. And hopefully we can say that we lived a full life, taking full advantage of what every day has to offer us. (This is, just for clarification, something that I really need to work on). This has also been brought to sharp relief in my mind by the high school students who are here at SUU campus, for the annual Shakespearean festival. Looking at a high school student (any at random), and they are worried about "what does my hair look like," or "what does she/he think of me," and that all won't really matter in the end.

As an update, I turned in the form for late hour submissions (I took a little time for the administration to cool down, in the hope that they will overlook my blunder, saving us both time and the effort it will take for arguing amongst each other). The form really isn't due in until the submission time for the next paycheck, so I still have about a week and a half really. Anyhow, I haven't heard anything about that yet, so I'm hoping that things will go smoothly without incident. I will keep you updated.

I found out today that ballroom (and this is kind of ironic that I didn't really hear about it), will be having free Salsa Dance lessons starting this thursday, every tuesday and thursday from 8 to 9 pm for about 2 and a half weeks! This makes me really excited, since Salsa (though it isn't one of my favorite dances), is definately up there. I'm going to see if I can convince people to come with me, though even if no one else does, you can bet I will be there for all of it.

All in all, it's shaping up to be a fair weekend so far. We'll see what the rest of it brings. But I'm feeling good about things, though this might be due to the fact that I was able to take time to meditate, and practice a little Tai Chi not more than two days ago. Anyhow, that's all that's new.

Reasonable

I like to consider myself a reasonable person. I do a really good job at keeping my anger in check, and usually am able to diffuse my temper before I make any rash decisions. This is a considerable feat considering the lack of sleep I have been having lately.

I am generally able to remember everything that I need to do--homework wise, and work wise--at least when I am not tired. Lately I've been really tired. I work from 6 am to 8 am (cleaning bathrooms if the truth be told), and then am constantly on the go until usually between 10pm and 12 am, only to go to bed and be up at 6 to do it all over again. Because of my homework load, I have been getting to bed a little later than I would have liked. And being tired, this makes me a little more forgetful than I would like. So two days ago, I forgot that I was to submit my hours for my job online.

Now today, since I forgot to mention anything to my supervisor yesterday, I picked up a late hour submission form. And to my dismay, my supervisor informs me that (and I'm not sure exactly who) someone in administration was not going to be accepting any late hour submission forms. What this means is there is a possibility that I will not get paid for 23 hours of work. I find this very ironic, since I am on work study, and that those hours I am cleaning bathrooms is not because I enjoy it, but because the government pays part of my paycheck and SUU only pays a small portion of it (since I am not elligable to receive any grants, but am left to pay for school out of my own pocket because the government believes that I cannot provide for myself until I am 24 and that my parents are expected to pay for half my schooling until that time).

For clarification, I do not do this job for fun. It is, by no means, fun. It is a useful job since it is through the school, and it is a good job because of my coworkers and supervisor. But it is by no means fun. The fact that since it is workstudy, if I do not get paid for those 23 hours of work that I put into the job you can bet I will be writing letters not only to the school but to the newspapers in and around town, not only the school's paper, but the papers for Cedar City. It may very well be my last day of work soon if I don't get paid for my time. It pisses me off that the administration thinks that they can cheat me out of my money. It may be true that I should be more attentive to submitting my hours on time. I can understand their frustration at having to deal with the extra paperwork. However, wouldn't it be to their advantage to take a look at how many people are forgetting to submit thier hours and give us an extra day or two? Do they think that we are doing this on purpose?

Anyways, that's all that I really wanted to say at this point.