Questioning Defines my Life (currently and forever)

What a curious and strange world we live in. It seems that just as soon as I think I have something figured out, there is something that happens or shows up in my world to prove to me just that simple fact that i do not have it all figured out. And it's amazing that it never repeats itself. The learning cycle more resembles the Chaos theory (if my understanding of such is correct) that things in general are never repeated the same twice, and that such small and seemingly insignificant things could have changed history, and will shape the future. Well, perhaps that is probably too broad a statement for what I meant, i simply mean to suggest that I never cease to be amazed at the broad spectrum of the differant situations that become learning curves in my life, some of them very small, while others are completely life changing (in the fact that they completely shake the foundations i have come to define my life by).

In UNIV 1000 (as useless as I thought the class was--don't get me wrong, there were good ideas, just not ideas that could be forced on anyone that wasn't listening or paying attention to what life has to offer) we learned the importance of language and finding root or base words in the language we use in our everyday life. What I took from that particular lesson is that the word Questioning is not exactly what I had taken it to be at first glance. Alllow me to break it down... this is how I do it (not sure if there is another way to break it down, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if there was) Quest / -ion / -ing. I will assume the definition of Quest to mean a journey to bring about a certain or specific result. The suffix -ion means to be in a state of (at least, in this context), and the suffix -ing puts the word in present tense (at least, again, in the context I will use it). Therefore, my life right now can be summed up with one word: Questioning. I am in the present state of journeying to bring about a specific result... and, for the most part, my quest (journey) is to better myself and my life (and in turn the lives of those people whom I can help out). And in a smaller part, I quest to approach (as closely as possible, since i'm not sure it can be achieved to completeness in this life) self-actualization, and to learn the nature of the universe in which I live. I believe this to be a worthy quest for a lifetime (since it will take me a lifetime) and it is currently what i am doing (although, since I am still young and not quite the master of my mind yet, it is something I don't always actively work towards).

I have recently (as in the past three days) driven in a car from Vernal, Utah, to St. Loius, Missouri. If anything this trip has taught me that I haven't completely applied all the life-lessons I have learned up to this point, and that is something that I am going to have to work on. What is the point of a life-lesson, if it is not applied to the overall betterment of one's self, or one's society? And that is probably what has been the most frustrating of all the things I've realized lately. It seems I have to take more time to reflect on what it is that I want from life, and what exactly it is that I am doing now... or in other words, how are my actions progressing towards, or degressing from, what it is that I want. Along with that, I have to take more time to put action behind my thoughts, because that is part of my quest of self-actualization as well, for I believe that someone is as much of who they make themselves to be through their actions as it is who they were born as. I can attest from personal experience that this is the case, or at least has been for my life.

I am also amazed at time, what an illusion we have created for ourselves. When it comes down to it (and I don't have the patience at this time--no pun intended--to explain what I mean) time is simply the measure of where the earth is in relation to the sun (both by which part of the earth faces the sun, and where the earth is in it's roational course around the sun). I think that we as a society worry too much about time (which doesn't even exist) and not enough about things that are really important... and just to mention it, I mean myself as well, and not just society, for I am guilty of the very same thing. I think I'm writing this down to first remind myself of this fact, and second, to remind anyone reading this, that "time" isn't the important thing to worry about. We just don't have the time to worry about time. It's a fact of life that each of us only has a certain amount of time (a certain number of rotations around the sun) in which we will be on this particular plane of existance (and I don't have the patience to explain my views on that yet, either), and that time is precious in that it will never be regained. Once any decision or action (or in-action) is made, it becomes the past, and unable to be re-made. That is the important thing to consider. And I guess if there is any point to this last rant on time, it is simply this: A person only lives once, and it is to their best advantage to take from each opportunity everything that can possibly be taken, and to live life to the fullest, because anything short of this is not a life that was lived to its fullest.

Finals Week and Counting

Wow, what a day today has been... I'm still trying to catch my breath from it. This week is finals week, and I don't have any finals until Thursday. One from 9 to 11 am, one from 11 am to 1 pm, and one from 1 to 3 pm. And then on Friday I have a final from 9 to 11 am. I think I'm going to do fairly well on most of those, I am worried about UNIV 1000 though, that one is going to be very interesting indeed. Although I did finish everything I was supposed to (i think), so I'm hoping that it will go well.

Also, I am still trying to decide what i should do for a major, or for a career as well... it's a difficult thing, and I'm not sure that I will have any idea anytime soon. But I hope that will come soon enough. I did help to fix someone's computer today, and that was a lot of fun, so perhaps that is what i should do. But at the same time, I would find it almost unbearable to be staring at a computer screen for forty hours a week, so we'll just have to see what happens. But I am very satisfied with the way that life has been going for me lately... It's been the best time in my whole life so far, and lately there isn't any hint of change in the air. I'm lovin' life.

Sometimes life is just that way

Wow, what a week this one has been. I have barely survived, and I'm not all the way finished yet. I had a large amount of homework due on the 27th of this month, and because of that, within thowe 2 (well, and maybe the day before) days I averaged about three hours of sleep per night. Yep, three. Although, now that they are finished, it is a whole lot less stressful than before. I am hopeful still about my classes, I should be able to pull off a B average, but hopefully the semester after this one will be better.

Also, on the 27th we had our ballroom dance final. That was actually a lot of fun. We pretty much just came to the ballroom(and brought a little bit of food), and then we just danced for about three and a half hours. That was a nice destresser(well, not sure if that's a word, but I say it is now).

I still have quite a bit of homework to do, I have two tests next week, and finals week is just after that. Which reminds me, i have to get my research papers done, and soon.

Anyhow, all in all, now that i'm getting a few more hours of sleep and such, I think that the rest of this week shouldn't be too awefully bad.

Closer to Finals and Thanksgiving Pie

Well, today is almost a head-ache waiting to happen. Just trying to keep my head above water, i have a final project due in my Personal Finance class in two weeks, and i haven't even bothered to look to see what i want to do. Yeah, that's going to be a supersize head-ache, but it will be nice to get it out of my hair. Working on my research paper for advertising, that's due in four weeks, and that i am also researching for my LM 1010 class, which i think i will have finished really really really soon. Which reminds me, i also have to do a research paper for UNIV 1000, and make sure i have my workbook finished.

I registered for classes last night, but i still have a little bit of registering to do, i have a few classes i need. I am also debating whether or not i can get away with not taking as many classes, this semester was just crazy, and i'm not sure i am going to be able to do it again soon... but then again, maybe i will. It's just one of those things.

I do have a date on Friday, i am excited about that, it's going to be fun. Dinner and a play (i know, maybe it's not the funnest thing to do, but still, it will be fun).

Also, i don't think i will be able to make it to my parents home for thanksgiving. So I am thinking I am going to have a huge thanksgiving dinner. I'm just going to invite everyone that isn't gonig away for thanksgiving, turn it into a potluck, and then just have a regular thanksgiving dinner (yes, i plan on making turkey and pecan pie, as well as maybe pumpkin pie and cherry and apple pie...). But besides that, I will probably just spend all of thanksgiving break catching up on my classes and hoping for the best (i'm sure i will do fairly well, although it's going to be tough).

I submit Life is a wave, not a particle

Ah... The feel of Friday. I've always loved Fridays, and this Friday is actually pretty good compared with the average. I finally got my papers back in Theatre, and I got a 25/25 on both of my essays, and a smiley face on one of them even. That makes me feel a whole lot better, i hadn't expected quite a good grade. I also just barely finished my billboard ad for advertising, and my first assignment for LM 1010, both of which were giving me a little bit of trouble.

I finally found my camera (i had accidently misplaced it the other day), and I was a little surprised that i still had my pictures on it from the day i went flying. Very nice pictures... i have already copied them to my computer, so it was almost weird that i hadn't deleted them from my SD card.

I was also able to switch someone shifts tomorrow, so instead of closing, i will be opening... yay! That will be nice (and it wasn't even my idea to start out with, although i am definately not apposed to it).

Yeah, it is surprising how bad a day can be and how awesome the next one. Like I am going to start saying from now on, Life is a wave, not a particle.

Life keeps going, and going, and going...

Well, today has been a fair day. I went to the Majors Fair (which was for UNIV 1000 students... especially those who are undeclared--like myself--and for other people, i am not exactly sure who all was there). It was long, it was a little frustrating, and it didn't really show me anything that was different from what I already knew about the Majors I have been considering. This week is referred to as FAST week, and truly, it is busy. Since I am in the UNIV 1000 (or was, as it were it was only 8 weeks) I am expected to attend the Majors fair, Civic engagement activity, and two general workshops from the week. I am just about half done.

I also have a few assignments to get through... one in LM 1010 (which just happens to be an online class... not too fond of those), and I have to design a billboard for red bull in my advertising class, and i am not even sure where to start with that.

Things have also taken an interesting turn, although i am still trying to figure that one out, so i won't really say anything about it here, at least not yet. And life goes on.

Who ever said Friday was the week-end?

Well, I am a little stressed right now. I have missed my LM 1010 class, which is only meeting twice, however, that could have been a bad mistake... the problem is I didn't even realize it until almost 12 hours after I'd missed it. Yeah, not a good move on my part, but I hope that my professor will understand.

I also have a mid-term test on Monday (for theatre of all classes), and my PFP worksheets due in personal finance on Tuesday(did I mention that there were about 25 of them?). I also have to worry about getting my class project done in Personal finance, and also a research paper started for Advertising (though I might be able to do that with LM 1010 since LM is supposed to be a research class anyways). Yeah, things are a little stressfull right now, but I think I will survive, and hopefully with a B average in my classes.... to expect more would be very disappointing if I didn't achieve it.

Ballroom Dance, anyone?

Well, today has been a fairly allright day. I did happen to wake my roommate up with my alarm clock (i had to get up early to go to wal-mart before classes, a long story shor, to buy shoes...), but i didn't get up exactly at my alarm clock... but he did, and boy was he angry. i can't remember if i sent him this link, so Tyson, if you are reading this, i am sorry about that.

Anyhow... I went to Personal Finance and remembered i have about 20, (25 maybe) worksheets due by tuesday, which isn't going to be fun... and that went fairly smoothly, i am confident i aced the quiz (we have one after every class period).

Then today was the day of the big test for Ballroom dance. Yep, that's right, a test. It was on the cha cha (which isn't my best dance). But it was actually kind of fun. We dressed up (hence the shoes), and there were tested two couples at a time (i was number four, so, i was in the second group that tested), and I danced with another girl as she tested (there are only 9 guys, and about 15 or so girls, so someone was bound to dance twice). Yeah, it was kind of nerve racking at the time, but i survived, and with a score of 23 out of 25!!! I am thinking about joining the ballroom dance team eventually, i don't think i can in the beginning of the semester, but i am sure that i would like to next year (which will be easier since i will already be used to studying a lot, and not have to worry about playing catch-up all the time).

Also, for anyone who has been to my website, i know it hasn't changed. I do have more pictures, however i haven't had the time to post them yet, so be patient, and i will get to it soon (hopefully).

Besides that, something i have to watch out for is to get my costume ready for halloween. I am going to be Link (from the Legend of Zelda, for anyone who doesn't know who Link is). The red Link from the Four Swords game, to be exact, and yes i have someone helping me put my costume together, i just have to make sure i remember to get everything that i am going to need (but i already have a sword, so i don't have to worry about that... which is a good thing, since they aren't too easy to track down at times). It is going to be a nice costume, and i am excited to show it off at the various costume parties i will be going to (one actually, but i am going to visit some of my friends, and i am sure they will be dressed up to, so i can call it a costume party should i want to... which i do). That just about covers everything that's going on for right now, so I should probably get around to doing some more homework.

"There's something going on around here"

It's odd really, in the last hour, I've had two people say hello (people that i don't even know) to me between classes. One person knew my name (no, i still have no idea who it is/was), and the other person introduced themselves to me... Very odd, I would have never expected that to happen, but i guess i'm just used to the people being unsociable. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it still does surprise me. College is so great!!! I love it, and most of my classes. I'm going off about 3 hours of sleep right now, so i think i'll leave it at that, before i say something i might not want to.

Almost Midterm

Well, today things went fairly smoothly so far, just a few things more to do today.

While I was in UNIV 1000, the TA said she wanted to talk to four people after class, and wouldn't you know, i was one of those four. I thought perhaps I was going to get in trouble because i haven't been "interacting" with my group very well (well, i don't really think they know what is going on, but i guess maybe i should have interacted more). But that's not what it was. She wanted to tell us she wanted us to consider being mentors for UNIV 1000. That was actually a bit surprising to me, i wasn't expecting that to ever even come up, but i think it could very well be a good idea, it would last all school year (summer not included) and it is actually a job, so i would get paid to do it. Yeah, i thought it was a good idea, though i'm not sure if i would want to or not. She did something that was a little confusing before, but i realize now it was closer to a compliment than anything else.

Also, in ballroom we've started (well, are finishing up) the swing... it isn't as hard as when we first started, and i think i'm getting the hang of it now. We also have went back to the Cha Cha. We know the steps, but now we are being taught the correct hip movements... it is a little awkward, and i can't really say i'm very good at it, but it is definately fun, and i would recommend to anyone taking a ballroom dance class. And it will be fun, because i think we will be starting the Waltz soon.

Well, i have a test tomorrow, and an essay that i have to get finished by tomorrow so I think I will leave it at that.

Life is sometimes... complicated

Today has been an allright day, just trying to get things done, figure some things out, and so on. Turned in one of my assignments for Advertising, it wasn't very good, but i couldn't really think of anything else to do for it, so i guess you just have to do the best with what you have. And I'm trying to get this blog up and running, and connect it with my website somehow... it's not as easy as it sounds, but i think i might be able to figure it out. I'll probably do more with it when i have more time, but i've got to get ready for work now.